14 years 30 minutes 15 seconds I've held this grudge 11 songs 4 full journals, thoughts of punishment I've expended
Not in contact not a letter such communication telepathic You've been cilified, used as fodder, you deserve a piece of every record
But who's it hurting now? Who's the one that's stuck? Who's it torturing now, with an antique knot in her stomach
I want to be big and let go of this grudge that's grown old All this time I've not known how to rest this bygone I want to be soft and resolved clean of slate and released I want to forgive for the both of us
Like an abandoned house dusty-coverd furniture still intact If I visit it now, do I simply re-live it somehow gratuitous But who's still aching now? Who's tired of her own voice? Who's it weighing down with no gift from time of said healing
I want to be big and let go of this grudge that's grown old All this time I've not known how to rest this bygone I want to be soft and resolved clean of slate and released I want to forgive for the both of us
Maybe as I cut the cord veils will lift from my eyes Maybe as I lay this to rest dead weight off my shoulders will rise
Here I sit, much determined ever ill-equipped to draw this curtain How this has entertained, validated and has served me greatly ever the victim
But who's done whining now? Who's ready to put down This load I've carried longer than I had cared to remember
I want to be big and let go of this grudge that's grown old For the life of me I've not known how to rest this bygone I want to be soft and resolved clean of slate and released I want to forgive for the both of us
